Someone can describe a loved person’s difficulties in considerable detail while struggling to say what it is like to be on the receiving end of their behavior. A parent was overwhelmed. A partner is under pressure. A friend has always found disappointment difficult.

A man can be comfortable being gay and uncertain about the life he is living. He may have supportive friends, a family that welcomes his partner, and little difficulty speaking about his sexuality. Yet he may feel restless, repeatedly disappointed in relationships, or unsure which of the things he has come to expect of himself he actually wants.

A change in sexual desire can be difficult to understand when affection remains. Partners may enjoy each other’s company, share a life they value, and still find that sex has become strained, infrequent, or strangely difficult to imagine.

A man can be comfortable taking responsibility and uneasy receiving care. He may manage difficult decisions, support people who depend on him, and take considerable satisfaction in his work. Yet when a partner asks about a disappointment or offers comfort, he may become impatient, dismissive, or suddenly unsure what to say.